A Quick Look Back...
A Quick Look Back...
I blogged for the very first time way back in 2010. I was encouraged by a dear friend and his wife to type down my thoughts, my struggles, my worries, etc. You get the idea.
I took a break, a long break. I'm back and want to give this another go. Look back to that very first I post from 2010.
I took a break, a long break. I'm back and want to give this another go. Look back to that very first I post from 2010.
Kara and I wanted better grass in the front and back yard, so we tilled up the old and planted new grass. It has taken a while, but guess what? The grass is growing! No more dirt!
Believe it or not, God used this simple process to get my attention to my spiritual condition.
I hadn't realized how far I had drifted away from God. You see, when I moved back to Texas from Arkansas three years ago, I had a mission....a calling! I had been in full-time church work for almost 10 years and I felt like God opened the door for me to go where teenagers were.....the school. Why you may ask? Simple....to be a Godly example and witness.
MY FAILURE
That's right...I failed! Somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked. The addiction was suffocating. Being liked by everyone became my choice of drug. The need to make everyone happy(or should I say, not make them mad at me), made me do things; say things; BECOME someone that not even I could recognize! It's even more sickening typing it.
I became the hypocrite of all hypocrites! I would use language that makes a sailor look like a saint around practice or Friday nights and then try to lead God's people to sing, "Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art!"
Matthew 15:7-9 (NKJV) became very real to me:
Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
‘"These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me"
I became what you might call a chameleon Christian. I can blend into my surroundings and no one will ever know! How grotesque!
A FRIEND'S PHONE CALL
Back to grass growing in our yard...I hate weeds; especially, sticker burs(spellings?)! It's hard to see them in your grass sometimes until it's too late! OUCH!
About two months ago, I had had it! I was miserable! I hated my life! I wasn't happy with anything in my life....even though God has blessed me with a wonderful family, church, and place of employment. Crazy! What is going on? I had everything, but felt like I had nothing! Then the phone rang! Sounds dramatic, but that is actually what happened! Don't believe me, ask Kara!
On the other end of the phone was a dear friend who asked, "what's going on?" Of course, I said, "nothing!" He didn't buy it! Thank goodness! My friend cut straight to the heart of the matter and said, "Phillip, you need to get right with Jesus!" He was right....my problem was a spiritual problem. God showed up that night and confronted me with my spiritual laziness and blatant disregard for the things of God! I had allowed weeds of sin to come in and choke out EVERYTHING!
GOD'S FAITHFULNESS!
Romans 4: 7 (KJV): "Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered."
More than weeds, I hate a dirt yard! It's ugly and dry! But with a lot of rain and water, it happened: NEW GRASS!
God has been far more faithful to me than I have been to him. I am thankful for it! I realized I lost my testimony to a lot of people. I have to deal with that. My heart breaks because of that alone! I'm a hypocrite to a lot of people and they'll never trust me with the timeless truth of God's grace. I may never be able to share the gospel to some now! I will be judged for that. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.
I do find some small hope in what Paul writes in a few verses in Philippians chapter 3 (12-14; emphasis mine) that keeps me going; 12Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
There are dead spots in our yard that we have to fix. The grass isn't growing everywhere, for whatever reason. There are still dead spots in my life God is working on! Weeds have started growing in some places in the yard which reminds, repentance is a daily process! Who knows where today will take, let alone tomorrow!
Sure beats sitting on the sidelines watching!
Believe it or not, God used this simple process to get my attention to my spiritual condition.
I hadn't realized how far I had drifted away from God. You see, when I moved back to Texas from Arkansas three years ago, I had a mission....a calling! I had been in full-time church work for almost 10 years and I felt like God opened the door for me to go where teenagers were.....the school. Why you may ask? Simple....to be a Godly example and witness.
MY FAILURE
That's right...I failed! Somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked. The addiction was suffocating. Being liked by everyone became my choice of drug. The need to make everyone happy(or should I say, not make them mad at me), made me do things; say things; BECOME someone that not even I could recognize! It's even more sickening typing it.
I became the hypocrite of all hypocrites! I would use language that makes a sailor look like a saint around practice or Friday nights and then try to lead God's people to sing, "Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art!"
Matthew 15:7-9 (NKJV) became very real to me:
Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
‘"These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me"
I became what you might call a chameleon Christian. I can blend into my surroundings and no one will ever know! How grotesque!
A FRIEND'S PHONE CALL
Back to grass growing in our yard...I hate weeds; especially, sticker burs(spellings?)! It's hard to see them in your grass sometimes until it's too late! OUCH!
About two months ago, I had had it! I was miserable! I hated my life! I wasn't happy with anything in my life....even though God has blessed me with a wonderful family, church, and place of employment. Crazy! What is going on? I had everything, but felt like I had nothing! Then the phone rang! Sounds dramatic, but that is actually what happened! Don't believe me, ask Kara!
On the other end of the phone was a dear friend who asked, "what's going on?" Of course, I said, "nothing!" He didn't buy it! Thank goodness! My friend cut straight to the heart of the matter and said, "Phillip, you need to get right with Jesus!" He was right....my problem was a spiritual problem. God showed up that night and confronted me with my spiritual laziness and blatant disregard for the things of God! I had allowed weeds of sin to come in and choke out EVERYTHING!
GOD'S FAITHFULNESS!
Romans 4: 7 (KJV): "Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered."
More than weeds, I hate a dirt yard! It's ugly and dry! But with a lot of rain and water, it happened: NEW GRASS!
God has been far more faithful to me than I have been to him. I am thankful for it! I realized I lost my testimony to a lot of people. I have to deal with that. My heart breaks because of that alone! I'm a hypocrite to a lot of people and they'll never trust me with the timeless truth of God's grace. I may never be able to share the gospel to some now! I will be judged for that. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.
I do find some small hope in what Paul writes in a few verses in Philippians chapter 3 (12-14; emphasis mine) that keeps me going; 12Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
There are dead spots in our yard that we have to fix. The grass isn't growing everywhere, for whatever reason. There are still dead spots in my life God is working on! Weeds have started growing in some places in the yard which reminds, repentance is a daily process! Who knows where today will take, let alone tomorrow!
Sure beats sitting on the sidelines watching!
Posted in First Blog